Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Won't be Seventeen Forever

Days prior to my birthday people would ask me "Jenny, how old are you going to be?" and I would reply "seventeen."  The following comments to my reply were quite surprising as I did not feel or think the same would be on my path as I walked.  Every time this conversation took place I would get the same comments.  "Oh, that was the best year of my life."  or "Oh, you'll have such a good time, you'll make so many memories."  I did not understand what was so special about this age, this year, or this time.  On top of it all, my own opinion was that this year would be horrible, unsatisfying and pay back for everything I had done in the past.  I didn't just think that, I felt it.  Maybe it was a fear of knowing what was to come, or maybe I would afraid of growing up.  The feeling is best compared to that of the moment on the roller coaster, right before you fall at 60 miles per hour almost straight down.  (Shiekra)  It has now been 10 and a half months since my birthday.  I know exactly what all those people meant when they said "you'll have such a good time, you'll make so many memories."  I have had such a good time, and I have memories from this year I will hold on to forever.  The feeling I felt from the beginning, was a warning to get ready, for the set and the go.

I plan, through this blog, to reach down into my memories and bring them to the surface again.  I plan, through this blog, to share my thoughts and feelings of the moment, my concerns of tomorrow and my worries of the past.  I want to write my thoughts and opinions out so one day I can look back and read these words and say "Oh, that was the best year of my life."